Cautiously Optimistic in the Second Half

It's been a rough first half of the year.....

Numerous family-shared illnesses, ER visits, personality changes in Carson, 2 surgeries, 2 recoveries....

As we get ready to start the second half of the year, I am trying to look forward to growth, to progression, to newness.
 

This morning we started ABM again, after a long hiatus   It was so wonderful to see Naomi, our beloved ABM practitioner   She was happy to see how aware Carson was - to see his "learning switch" on.  

I am excited to be on a course of moving forward again.... but along with those excitements, comes fear, insecurity, and cautious optimism.

In Carson's short 2-1/2 years, we have seen so many baby steps forward, just to fall backwards again due to illness, medical concerns, surgeries.... we've seen so much excitement in something new he's doing, just to witness him backsliding when his body and mind have to concentrate on more critical issues.

I find myself being CAUTIOUSLY optimistic as I hope to see such great growth and development in him, but I am cautious as well to keep my expectations, my desires, from getting in the way of my joy over the small things.

So I'm trying to put 'myself' aside and just be here - be here for Carson - be here for the joy of any changes that occur.  I am trying to keep my mind 'here', in the present - instead of many steps down the road.  I am trying to keep my emotions 'here', allowing myself to feel the now, instead of feeling the disappointments and fears of the past or the 'anticipatory' disappointing or scary feelings of the future.

So.... yeah.... I'm here.  Carson's here.  ABM is here. Let's keep moving forward my precious boy... whatever that 'forward' looks like!